


Disasters & Datapads

by HovercraftOfEels



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Awkward First Times, Ben Solo eats pussy like it will save his life, Ben has a very difficult time asking for help, But he ends up with far far more than he asked for anyway, Excellent Second Times, F/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 16:08:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15174419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HovercraftOfEels/pseuds/HovercraftOfEels
Summary: By the morning, Ben Solo had red eyes and a plan that required him to do something that made his stomach clench and ice water replace the blood in his veins.He had to ask his mother for help.+++Ben Solo fails spectacularly the first time. But he's not really the kind of guy who gives up easily.





	Disasters & Datapads

Their first time is sort of a disaster.

It takes a surprising amount of time for them to even _find_ the time for a stolen night together. After his defection there is a lot happening at once, and Ben doesn’t even find the right moment to kiss her for weeks. But from the day he steps out of his Silencer, kneeling before his mother in surrender, there’s no real doubt for anyone why he finally returned, least of all himself. Not when he looks up at Rey with an expression that says so much more than he probably intended it to. Not when she looks back at him with equal longing.

But that doesn’t mean that it all goes particularly easily for them.

They’re both inexperienced to the extremes; Snoke had done everything to suppress any positive emotions between the Knights, worried that connection, romantic or otherwise, would be used against him while Rey had eked out survival in the middle of a wasteland. What’s more, Ben had been so manipulated by Snoke’s machinations that to even recall the gentler moments of his childhood caused him pain, like his brain now rejected the idea that Han Solo and Leia Organa loved each other and loved him.

With so much stacked against them, it was hardly surprising that things went sideways the moment they found themselves alone in bed together.

Ben had never felt so overly large in his life as he did trying to navigate the small bunk they were in, his arms and legs taking up more room alone than Rey did with her whole self. They finally found a way to settle against each other, and every kiss sent a rush of warmth through him that felt almost too intense, like his skin didn’t quite fit him anymore. The strangest part was how he didn’t mind that at all.

That was the moment he thought maybe it would be all right. That they’d figure it out. He wasn’t right about it, but he thought it anyway.

Things happened so quickly. Ben was embarrassingly hard the moment she touched his waist of all things, and he could only look down at her with wonder that unfortunately was matched with silence on his part, which of course could be open to interpretation. Only after a little too much time had passed did he realize Rey was looking up at him, almost hurt, and he scrambled to assure her that he was just in awe.

He probably should have admitted he was terrified too, but he didn’t.

Getting them both undressed ended up being the vast majority of the act because the second her small hand wrapped around his cock, he almost came right there, and the _shame_ of the fact that he’s a grown man unable to keep his body under control stains his cheeks, his chest.

Rey was worried he was about to be sick and sat up to cup his cheek. He reacted with frustration, which didn’t help matters either. But still, they pushed ahead until she was beneath him and he was above her.

He only thrust twice before he came, shuttering over her with a cry of apology and Rey tried desperately to assure him it was all right, it was okay, they’d figure it out.

For a life that had a lot of low points in thirty years, this was still pretty up there.

He hated that he didn’t know what to do, he hated that Rey had to reassure him that it was okay, he hated himself intensely, but at least that last one was nothing new. He held her as she slept, staring at the brutal metal walls of the Resistance’s latest base, trying to think of options. Trying to feel less like an utter failure of a human being.

+++

By the morning, Ben Solo had red eyes and a plan that required him to do something that made his stomach clench and ice water replace the blood in his veins.

He had to ask his mother for help.

He fully understood why the limited his holonet access, and he wasn’t about to risk the incredibly tenuous peace that had formed between the Resistance and Ben’s very existence among them. There were times that their suspicions of him felt like an itch below his skin, but he wouldn’t betray his mother and Rey like this.

That didn’t really make what he needed to do any easier.

General Organa stood in front of her holomap, watching a simulation of some kind with keen interest. He was well over a foot taller than his mother and yet he still felt dwarfed in her presence, even if now he realized every time he saw her that his mother was getting older, that the weight of the galaxy had been bowing her shoulders for so many years.

The guilt couldn’t eat him alive today, though. He had a mission.

She turned her head to look at her son like she always did these days, like his very existence was a miracle. Maybe it was, but that was really not exactly what he was aiming for just then.

“General, I need your help with something.” Leia outright rolled her eyes, which was fair, but he still didn’t feel like he’d earned any right to call her _Mother_ again.

“Ben, please. You know I’ll help you with anything, just stop calling me General. Even Leia would be better,” she grumbled to herself, reaching for her cane so she could walk beside Ben with better ease. Her steps were two for every one of his, but she would be damned if she didn’t keep up.

“Er, it’s a little bit private, could we go somewhere?” He was looking around nervously, aware he looked nervous, and aware that when he looked nervous, everyone else got nervous too.

This was exhausting.

Leia looked up at her son with that understanding that only a mother could possess, that preternatural knowledge that told Ben he was in big trouble the moment her eyes narrowed and she saw the slightly dark patch on his neck where Rey had gotten --- enthusiastic. He saw understanding dawn on Leia’s face, and for a split second he almost wished he hadn’t made it off Snoke’s flagship.

“Ben, is this about Rey?” She said it quietly enough, at the doors so the rest of the command center did not hear her words. Leia wasn’t trying to be flippant about her son’s privacy.

That did not mean she could predict the doors opening just as she said it, with Poe Dameron, Rose Tico, and Finn walking in to hear _that_.

Now he really wished he hadn’t made it off Snoke’s flagship.

The reactions were comic. Poe, who had punched him square in the face on the first day that Ben spent with the Resistance and since then had been surprisingly supportive looked delighted. Rose looked pleased, but a touch nervous, as if she was aware this was hardly a conversation she should be involved in. And then there was Finn who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but here. _Join the club_ , Ben thought to himself, rubbing his hand over his face.

“Privacy, Mother,” and he hated how childish he sounded when he said it, how petulant, even if Ben felt like he’d earned it. “I said I needed privacy to talk to you about this.” He was speaking through gritted teeth, and it didn’t help that he noticed that Rose’s eyes hovered on the exact same place his mother’s had a few minutes ago.

_Kriff_.

Ben knew he couldn’t bodily force his mother into an office to talk to her, but luckily Leia took pity on her obviously upset son and hustled down the hallway, poking and prodding the trio in their way and making a point to lock the door behind them.

But that meant he had to talk to her. About _this_.

Maybe there was a dangerous mission he could go on or something.

“I take it you two ran into some complications.” Leia had such a frank manner about even this that in spite of how terribly embarrassed he was it did put him a little at ease. Ben sank into a chair, running a hand through his hair. Before he could even answer, his mother put her hand on his shoulder. “Of course, how could you not? Neither of you could really be prepared after what you’ve both been through. Don’t worry. I won’t make this worse.”

Not for the first time since coming back to her, Ben Solo looked up at his mother with tears in his eyes, this time of gratitude.

+++

Twenty minutes later, he left the small office with a datapad of downloaded advice, techniques, etc and a pair of extremely red ears under his increasingly shaggy hair. Ben was grateful, but he had also been very eager to get the hell out of there, read what he could before seeing Rey again, and plan his next move.

But then there was Rose Tico, standing in front of him with that same curious air that his mother had when she did so. Were all shorter women capable of cowering him, or was it just a rebellion thing? Rose seemed unphased. If anything, she seemed entirely too earnest, and for a split-second Ben was just terrified.

Which is why being side blinded by Finn was the absolute last thing he needed as he rounded the corner in the hallway. For a split second, he was afraid there was going to be some sort of good-intentioned but poorly-executed threat about Rey’s well-being.

He was not prepared for the other man to shove another datapad into his hand, meeting his gaze unwaveringly. Finn looked at him with complete understanding, which was utterly unreal.

“Trust me.” And then he turned and left without another word.

Ben stared in surprise for a solid minute before opening the new pad and looking at what it was, only to immediately turn the pad back off in stunned shock. While helpful, hardly the kind of thing he wanted to be caught reading in the hallway. Looking back up the hallway he could see Rose walking at Finn’s side now, towards Poe who was giving Ben a very clear head’s up.

He was going die of shame. Or rage. Only time would tell.

+++

It is a solid week before he even gets a chance for a moment alone with Rey. They have training, another shift from one base to another, and then finally they’re alone in a room with a properly sized bed.

That had been one of his mother’s suggestions. Verbal. Embarrassing. But accurate.

He takes his time, which was a hint from the datapad that he is certain Rose wrote up and forced Finn to deliver. He takes his time with her clothing, takes his time kissing her. Ben Solo never had been great at patience, never been great at putting aside the awful urge to just bolt, that he’s not worthy of anything good.

Maybe he was good enough to be good for her.

Therefore, he’s slow, careful, gentle but not too gentle. His lips find the curve of her throat as his fingers slide between her thighs, and the little gasp against his ear almost undoes his patience right there. He lets his fingers discover her, the important anatomy memorized already but the exploration incredibly rewarding all the same. He listens to her responses, kissing down between her breasts as his fingers slide inside of her, carefully curling as she keened his name.

At one point, Rey smiled breathlessly at him, clearly congratulating him on his quick study.

Ben is gratified, but he’s not about to stop there.

He settles between her thighs, ignoring his growing need. The first time his tongue slid against her, they moaned in concert. She tasted divine, but Ben wouldn’t let himself grow distracted. He listened carefully to see what made her jagged gasps turn into shattered moans of his name.

Her peak surprised him, even if it probably shouldn’t have. She arched her hips against his mouth, hands fisted in the sheets beneath her as Rey looked at him with wild, loving eyes wide-blown.

Only then did he sit up a little, pride evident as he cupped her cheek with one hand and kissed her. Maybe tomorrow there would be awkward thanks for the advice.

But tonight, he and Rey were just getting started.


End file.
